Definitions

Author Brain
Bosom friend
Can sit at my lunch table
Eyeroll sprain
Insta-love
Invitation to my sleepover party
Kindred spirit
Series stretching
Swapping BFF charms
*That* book
Twilight Pacing Syndrome
What Would the Main Character Do Test (WWMCD Test)

Who's Talking Test

Author Brain

An author who awes me with their writing genius and leaves me dumbfounded with how they are able to turn words into magic. Whether it's their gorgeous prose, their ability to say so much with so little, their breath-taking world-building, their pitch-perfect turns of phrase, their astounding originality, or their so real they're breathing characters, this author simply blows my mind with their writing skills. Simply put, they're a paragon.

Can sit at my lunch table

A special invitation reserved for cool characters. These girls kick butt and I'd totally be friends with them, but we're not quite at the level yet where we'd gush over our deepest secrets.

Eyeroll sprain

Coined by Logan E. Turner, an eyeroll sprain is the pain you get in your eye due to excessive eyerolling as a result of ridiculous plotlines and stupid characters.

Insta-love

Girl and boy meet for the first time. The following exchange or similar variation occurs:
"OMG! You're so hot!!"
"Wanna be soulmates and love each other for ever and ever?"
"YES!!!!"
"I'd so die for you"
"Totally!"
*Swoon*

Copious amounts of swooning, mooning, and making out take up entire chapters of the book. Phrases like "instant attraction" and other descriptions of an inexplicable and vague but totally powerful and all-consuming connection are used to explain their relationship.

Invitation to my sleepover party

A super special invitation reserved only for those characters who are awesome enough that I'd want to be BFFs with. I can see myself giggling and swapping secrets with these girls. Also synonymous with Swapping BFF Charms.

Kindred spirit

This character SO gets me. We're on the same wave length, we think the same way, and, yeah, we probably have similar faults. This term comes from Anne of Green Gables who, of course, is a total kindred spirit. Also synonymous with bosom friend.

Series stretching

When a story is stretched beyond its natural limits in order to fill more books. This can take the form of a first book that feels like a really extended intro, a middle book that reads like filler, or a final book that jumps the shark.

*THAT* book

The book you hoped, prayed, and lusted over for months and months with the expectation that when you finally read it you will fall madly in love with it. And you do. It will become the book you love so much that you compulsively want to buy it every time you see a copy. As a result, you may even own more than one copy already (but you couldn't bear to part with one of them because you love the book so much). You re-read it over and over and you love the characters more than you love most real people. These books are even more special than Special Shelf books. They are the Elite Special Shelf books.

Twilight Pacing Syndrome

Wherein the plot is slow and meandering for the first 3/4 and then suddenly picks up in the final quarter.

What Would the Main Character Do? Test (WWMCD Test)

A test wherein you create a random situation, unrelated to the plot of the book, and then ask what would the character do in the situation. The more accurately and detailed you can answer the question, the more developed the character. Well-developed characters feel so real that you can predict with high confidence what they would do in non-plot-related situations.

Example of a character who scores highly: Hermione Granger

Who's Talking Test

A test for books with multiple narrators. Open the book to a random page and start reading. If you can immediately tell who is narrating based on the "sound" of their voice alone, then the book scores HIGHLY on the test. If it takes a little while to get the feel of their voice, then the book scores moderately. If you can't tell who's talking until you've read enough to gain context clues about the plot, then the book fails the test.
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