Book Review: The League of the Beastly Dreadfuls by Holly Grant

Pages: 320
Released: April 28, 2017
Publisher: Random House
Received: Finished copy from publisher
Rating: DNF at page 160 (50%)
Goodreads

Well, I really wanted to like this book. I'd convinced myself that I would like this book because the cover art and the title were just so darn charming. Color me disappointed when the first half of the book was almost charming and almost engaging, but never quite got there. The main character was a sketch of someone I could care about, and the aunts were sketches of people I could find menacing and creepy, and the house was something I could almost find intriguing, but none of these things went past the potential for greatness into actually achieving greatness.

And then.

Then supernatural elements were randomly introduced about halfway through and the plot took a turn and I just wasn't prepared to get on board with this new direction. Maybe if I was already invested, or if there had been more to prepare me for those twists, but none of that was the case. The twists also weren't the type of twists that surprise, but rather just a totally different direction. I don't know, maybe it's just me (I don't like it when Plans Change), but it all seemed to come out of nowhere which made it feel tacked on and not like a cohesive story.

Sadly, this one isn't for me. I had such high hopes.

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DNF Explanation: Death Below Stairs by Jennifer Ashley

Pages: 313
Released: January 2, 2018
Publisher: Berkley Books (Penguin Random House)
Received: E-ARC from publisher, via NetGalley
DNF: 31%

Jennifer Ashley is probably better known for her romance novels, but she does branch off occasionally and that's when she piques my interest. My one experience with her was her historical fiction take on Elizabeth I and I was pretty impressed with her storytelling, characterizations, and historical detail. So I had high hopes for Death Below Stairs.

The good? Just like in her Elizabeth book, Jennifer Ashley focuses on a historical craft and brings it wholly to life. In the Elizabeth book it was fashion and sewing, but in Death Below Stairs it's all about the food. The main character serves as the cook in a fancy British house ala Downton Abbey and the descriptions of the dishes she makes are detailed and divine. Honestly, I would have enjoyed the book if it was entirely about the cooking. The Downton Abbey feel of the upstairs, downstairs relationships and the big house was charming and thoroughly enjoyable.

So why the DNF? Mainly two reasons: I didn't like the main character and I didn't like her romance. The character of the main character didn't ring true to me and she was far too Strong Female Character for her own good. In an early scene she boldly sasses the master of the house while standing in defense of one of the servant girls who he occasionally likes to get handsy with. Now, don't get me wrong, she was in the right and the master of the house was very much portrayed as the Villain of the Piece, but it all felt so contrived. She also ran off half-cocked, which is behavior that would be more likely to get her fired than not. Which, a woman in her position would know and therefore not likely behave in such an eye-roll-inducing way. I know these traits are supposed to make us root for her, but it really just made me shake my head at her and find her off-putting and not realistic.

And then there's the romantic lead. He's a scoundrelly guy with Secrets who engages in work that isn't exactly above board. He has a network of spies and secret handshakes and disguises and he felt like such a contrived caricature and I just could not care less about him. He and the main character apparently have a history together, which is hinted at very strongly (which, really, the purpose was to hamfistedly direct the reader to the prequel novella) and yet he keeps so many secrets from her. I imagine this is supposed to make him seem dangerous and mysterious and therefore alluring, but I feel like I'm too old for that crap and I just want him to cut the childish games and be trustworthy, honest, and stable for her.

To be fair, much of this is simply a case of "wrong reader" as opposed to any real flaw in the book. The romantic lead is very much the adult version of the Dickensian street scamp, and that's a character I tend not to like very much.

Anyway, then, underneath all this, there is a murder mystery. I was interested in following this part of the story, but between the unappealing main characters and historically unrealistic vibe, I found it hard to stick with the story.

Bottom line

Readers who click with the main character and romantic lead should find enjoyment with Death Below Stairs. There are a lot of elements here I can get on board with and I want to love this series, but I think it's probably just not for me.




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DNF Explanations: Path of Fate and Haven

Path of Fate by Diana Pharoah Francis
ARC from NetGalley
Goodreads

I originally added this series to my TBR because it was recommended for readers who like the Firekeeper series by Jane Lindskold. Mostly I'm guessing the link between the two is because they both have human main characters who are able to speak to animals. Maybe there's more of a connection?

What I do know is that the political system of the Firekeeper series is interesting, and the political system in Path of Fate was annoying. Firekeeper's felt like the world was created for the story. Path of Fate feels like the world and story were created for the author to send a thinly veiled message about the real world. And I don't want that. So, DNF.

Haven by Mary Lindsey
Finished copy from publisher
Goodreads

I feel guilty about DNF-ing this book. It came, unexpectedly, with a fancy package filled with confetti, a mug, candy, and other treats. So, in deference to materialism, of which I am always a sucker, I dropped everything and started reading Haven.

Unfortunately, Haven was written a few years too late for me. Had this been written during the Twilight craze, Haven would have been a smash hit. The characters are generally good people and it was easy to care about them. There's a heavy dose of "lost puppy, adoptive loving family" syndrome, and I'm a sucker for that. The paranormal aspects were typical, but in a good way. The teen angst was heavy, including a fairly prominent romance that would have likely had me swooning ten years ago.

Maybe I'm too old for this story. Maybe the Twilight craze is too far in the past. Whatever the reason, Haven seemed like a good book that I have generally positive feelings for and very little interest in actually reading at this point in my life. Readers who are still searching for the next Twilight should definitely check out Haven.


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DNF Explanations: YA and MG

Forever, Again by Victoria Laurie
Released: December 13, 2016
Publisher: Disney Hyperion
Received: ARC from publisher
Read 62 of 360 pages
Goodreads

Well, I'm not sure if I'm disappointed I won't be reading more of this book or relieved that I found out now and not after more hours of reading.

I flew through the first 62 pages and I had every intention of finishing the book. I figured it would be a solid 3 or 3.5 star read: good, enjoyable, but nothing spectacular or something I'd reread. Still, I was enjoying the pacing and tension of uncovering the mystery.

And then I came across some low star Goodreads reviews with spoiler tags. And I clicked on them. And...I decided to DNF. The big reveal just seemed disappointing and not something I'd like, which makes the time spent with the book not really worthwhile. I can deal with a meh reveal if the characters and story leading up to that are still engaging and stand on their own, but after 62 pages, my impression of the characters was that they weren't going to become anything more than a vehicle for the mystery.

So, DNF.

The Adventurers Guild by Zack Loran Clark and Nick Eliopulos
Released: October 3, 2017
Publisher: Disney Hyperion
Received: ARC from publisher
Read 6 of 320 pages
Goodreads 

Chalk this one up to wrong book, wrong reader. I had high hopes: cute cover, fun premise, middle-grade adventuring...recipe for success. I didn't expect a writing style that grated on my nerves enough to make me put the book down with only a microscopic smidgen of regret. The characters and story felt stock, the writing serviceable at best, and everything had a very phoned in, paint-by-numbers kind of feel. No heart. Oh well, c'est la vie. Onto the next book!


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Book Reviews: Thrifty Time Travelers series by Jonathan Stokes

The Thrifty Guide to Ancient Rome 
Pages: 127
Publisher: Viking Books for Young Readers
Released: January 30, 2018
Received: ARC from the publisher
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Goodreads 

Let's see...

• Fast paced
• Short chapters
• Ancient Rome
• Tons of facts

Yep, this is a perfect book for me. It was no surprise that I loved this book. It really is a nice guide, touching on everything from dress, to technology, inventions, roads, politics, major events, people, places, problems and entertainment. Some things were a little cleaned up (it's hard to do Caligula for middle grade readers without leaving stuff out), but I don't think that gave a skewed impression of anything.

There's some light humor and everything is themed around the "thrifty guide" idea. This book is supposed to be a time travel guide produced in the future where a pretty shady sounding overlord runs the world and sells time travel packages. It's zany, kind of cute, kind of annoying, and easy to ignore if you just want to focus on history.

The book is interspersed with various asides (like pictures showing what you should wear if you want to blend in) that were enjoyable and helped create that "I'll read just one more section" feeling that I love. This was a fun book to introduce kids to ancient Rome, but also fun for me as an adult already familiar with ancient Rome. Recommended. 

*I need to take a moment to rave again about Jonathan Stokes' Addison Cooke series. It's funny, fast, filled with adventure, and just plain fun.


PUBLISHER'S BOOK DESCRIPTION

THRIFTY GUIDE TO ANCIENT ROME
 Like a middle-grade Magic School Bus, the Thrifty Guides take readers on funny and informative trips to the greatest moments in history!
The Thrifty Guide to Ancient Rome: A Handbook for Time Travelers is a snappy, informative travel guide that comes in the package with your time machine purchase in the year 2163. It contains information vital to the sensible time traveler:

•     Where can I find a decent hotel room in ancient Rome for under five sesterces a day? Is horse parking included?
•     What do I do if I'm attacked by barbarians?
•     What are my legal options if I'm fed to the lions at the Colosseum?

Designed as a parody of Fodor's, complete with humorous maps, reviews of top attractions (Julius Caesar's assassination is a must-see!), and tips on who to have lunch with (Hannibal, assuming he doesn't kill you). If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook you would need.



The Thrifty Guide to the American Revolution
Pages: 160
Publisher: Viking Books for Young Readers
Released: January 30, 2018
Received: ARC from the publisher
Rating: DNF
Goodreads 

Yikes! Well, there's only so many mistakes and inaccuracies I can take. So, DNF.

PUBLISHER'S BOOK DESCRIPTION

THRIFTY GUIDE TO THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION

Like a middle-grade Magic School Bus, the Thrifty Guides take readers on funny and informative trips to the greatest moments in history!

The Thrifty Guide to the American Revolution: A Handbook for Time Travelers is a snappy, informative travel guide that comes in the package with your time machine purchase in the year 2163. It contains information vital to the sensible time traveler:

•     Where can I find a decent hotel room in colonial New England? Are credit cards accepted?
•     How can I join the Boston Tea Party without winding up in a British prison?
•     What do I do if I'm being shot at by a cannon?

Designed as a parody of Fodor's, complete with humorous maps, reviews of places to stay and top attractions (Don't miss Paul Revere's midnight ride!), and tips on who to have lunch with (Alexander Hamilton, naturally). If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook you would need.



AUTHOR BIO

Jonathan Stokes (www.jonathanwstokes.com) is a former teacher who is now a rising star as a Hollywood screenwriter. He has written screenplays on assignment for Warner Brothers, Universal, Fox, Paramount, New Line, and Sony/Columbia. Inspired by a childhood love of The Goonies and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Jonathan wrote his first novel, Addison Cooke and the Treasure of the Incas, published by Philomel in 2016. Born in Manhattan, he currently resides in Los Angeles, where he can be found showing off his incredible taste in dishware and impressive 96% accuracy with high fives. Tweet

DNF Mini Explanations

Beauty and the Clockwork Beast by Nancy Campbell Allen
Goodreads

I don't tend to love steampunk at the best of times (they just feel like they're trying so hard), so this probably wasn't the best book for me. I had hoped that the romance, gothic vibe, and general zaniness promised by several reviewers would balance out the goggles and flying air ships for me. But, alas, no.

The steampunk parts were especially paint-by-numbers and it felt like the author was running down a checklist of requisite items to include in book of this genre without any real heart or care put in. The main character also didn't grab me and I could not see myself liking her much.

Still, I'm intrigued by the promises of romance and silly craziness, so I may try to pick this one up again. 

Eden's Wish by M. Tara Crowl
Goodreads

There's nothing wrong with this book. It's cute, mildly funny, mildly sweet, mildly intriguing, and just all around ok. That's really it. I could finish reading it and I think the experience would be overall pleasant. Nice. Ok.

And not really how I want to spend my reading time right now. I may go back and finish this one when I'm more in the mood. The target audience should enjoy it though.



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DNF Explanation: Revel by Maurissa Guibord

Read to page 195 of 352
Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers
Released: February 12, 2013
Received: Library
Goodreads

I wasn't blown away by Maurissa Guibord's debut Warped, but I liked it well enough to give her sophomore novel Revel a try. At this point I think she just might not be the author for me, because while Revel definitely felt more polished, I didn't click with it enough to finish.

In the plus column were the unique mythology and paranormal creatures. The exact nature of the creatures and their history with the islanders is shrouded in mystery (at least, shrouded from main character Delia because the rest of the creepy islanders know all about it). Piecing together this mythology held my interest and is pretty much the only reason I kept reading (the plot is seriously slow).

At least, it held my interest until Delia started getting some answers and those answers left me...turned off. Getting the answers also turned the focus of the plot from unraveling a mystery to getting consumed by romance. I like my books with a touch of romance, but when the romance becomes the focus I start to yawn. Especially when it's insta-love. With a love triangle. And when the romance is more creepy and bland than swoony.

So, DNF. And, looking now and realizing this is a Delacorte book, I'm not really surprised. We don't usually get along.

Looking for another book like this? (But better)

You might like: 

 

Click on the cover to go to my review/Goodreads

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DNF Explanation: The Vanishing Island by Barry Wolverton

Read page 50 of 352  
Received: ARC from publisher
Goodreads

The Vanishing Island is the kind of book that is EXACTLY my kind of book. Middle grade adventuring, high seas, treasure hunts, maps, and mischief.

Plus, a cool cover, which never hurts.

So why the DNF? I'm kinda puzzled myself. There was just a something that didn't work for me. Or, a bunch of little somethings that all added up to a disappointing no thanks.

I didn't connect with the main character. The idea of the vomitorium was off-putting, and not just for the puke, but just the...outlandishness of it all? I can be pretty picky when it comes to liking outlandish. And then there was the "too much time before adventuring started," (I quit at page 50 and we had only just gotten to the vomitorium) and you know how impatient I can be.

It got to the point where this felt like a chore to read, which is my cue to DNF. I definitely think it is a case of, "It's not you book, it's me," though, so check it out if it appeals to you. With a boy main character, The Vanishing Island also seems like it would appeal to both boy and girl readers.


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DNF Explanation: Masks and Shadows by Stephanie Burgis

Pages: 300
Published: April 12, 2016
Publisher: Pyr
Received: Copy from publisher
Rating: DNF page 79 (26%)

Call this one a case of reader/book incompatibility, because I could not get into Masks and Shadows at all. The setting had a vague "Eastern European" feel to it where I can't help picturing everyone walking around with fake Dracula accents. The characters ranged from irritating to bland, but all cardboardy, and I couldn't connect with any of them.

The dastardly mystery felt hokey and forced, which was super disappointing because with features like murder, secret mystical groups of shady intent, hidden alliances, and magic, I figured I was going to love this. But, no, it all felt very paint-by-numbers with no heart.

And, speaking of heart, the romance was...icky. I'm sorry, I just couldn't wrap my head around a romance between dull, main-ish character Charlotte and jerky Carlo Morelli, a castrato.

Bottom line

Maybe if one of these things worked for me, if I clicked with Charlotte or if the mystery was more engaging or if the setting sucked me in or if Carlo was a likable person or if the romance was swoony, ONE thing and maybe I could have made it work.

As it was, I had to force myself to read this because I SO wanted to love it (I adore Stephanie Burgis's Kat books), but, no, Masks and Shadows is not the book for me.

Looking for another book like this? 

You might like: 

Click on the cover to go to my review

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DNF Explanation: Passenger by Alexandra Bracken

#1 in the Passenger series
Pages: 486
Released: January 5, 2016
Publisher: Disney Hyperion
Received: ARC from publisher
Rating: DNF on page 62
Goodreads

Once upon a time there was a book called Brightly Woven, and this book stole my heart. It had it all: sleepover party main character Sydelle, swoony and sarcastic Wayland North, questing, creative world-building and magic, and did I mention the romance? I read Brightly Woven back in 2010, and I've been pining for more ever since.

So, of course I've done the only logical thing, which is to expect every subsequent book Alexandra Bracken writes to be as amazingly wonderful as Brightly Woven. Or, basically, to be Brightly Woven, just in different settings.

Enter, The Darkest Minds in 2012, which I was fulling hoping would be Syd and North Do a Dystopia. And, yeah, it so wasn't that. Everything took a big step down. Instead of an intricate world with a unique magic system I could latch onto, I got an interesting premise but a sloppily thrown together world with a whole lot of gaping holes. Instead of kick-butt Sydelle, I got whiny please-kill-her-now Ruby. Instead of swoony Wayland North, I got a dull and forgettable love interest. I was devastated, and I never bothered reading the rest of the series.

Which is a huge preamble just to get to Passenger, which, yeah, I was still hoping for Sydelle and North Do Time Travel Pirate Adventuring. And, ugh, I so did not get that.

Instead, I got The Darkest Minds, but worse.

TDM at least jumped into the action and kept it going. Passenger was a total snore-fest (at least, the parts I read). SO much time was spent repeating the same things over and over. I think this was supposed to constitute "character development" but, yeah, no, telling me over and over and over again about surface level character traits and interests is not "character development."

Basically, after 62 pages I now know that main character what's-her-name really wants to be a violin prodigy, is really nervous about her big debut performance, likes her violin teacher, and has a flighty, artsy but not particularly warm mom. Oh, and she's also really annoying, wishy washy, and has no life or backbone and isn't happy with her life choices. Yawn.

BUT, I do know I really, really don't like her. 

And the guy? Ugh, he's no Wayland North. He's not even that other boring guy from TDM. He's...erm, he sails on ships? I think I'm supposed to think he's adventuresome and smart and all that. Maybe?

So, yeah, characters 0. How about that plot?!

No, plot 0, too.

I thought TDM was thrown together. Ha. I did not know the meaning of thrown together, but Passenger has shown me the way. Absolutely awful pacing. I mean, terrible. Nothing happened in those 62 pages, (though I do think I caught some heavy handed foreshadowing and "cabal-esque" hint dropping) which made the book feel wandering and unsure of itself.

All the musician stuff was close, but not quite right. The ship stuff was erm, well, some of the things were sort of right-ish but at best were a bunch of jargony stuff that could be sort of right but doesn't really actually say anything to straight up not right.

I could give a pass on that. I mean, this is a light, fluffy, YA action book. It's not supposed to be heavy historical fiction. But, but, she could have just googled! I mean, crack open a Patrick O'Brian book to any random page and get some ship info. It's not that hard to get it right! Or, just don't put it in there at all and say "the ship had bigger and more guns than we did oh noes!" instead of trying to describe it in more detail. Either would work. I'd totally be ok with the vague approach. But this poor attempt at detail and getting it wrong is not ok.

But, this is the same problem as with everything else. It's all so hacked together and surface-level, relying on a mish-mash of "close enough" details and bash my head in repetition instead of depth. It just screams low effort. 

Bottom line

This felt like a hot mess. Is it a lack of editing? Rushed writing? I don't know what's happened, but over the course of three books, Alexandra Bracken has gone from an auto-buy author to a library-first, and now I'm sad to say but she's not even on my "consider reading" list anymore.



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Mini Reviews: YA Books

The House of Ivy and Shadow by Natalie Whipple
Pages: 360
Publisher: Harper Teen
Released: April 15, 2014
Received: Library
Rating: 3 out of 5
Goodreads

This is one of those sisterhood witch books where women witches all bond over magic, herbs, and feminine mystery. The plot flips between Josephine's normal life and her growing romance (boring, out of place) and her witch life where her family is under attack from some generational curse and a mysterious creepy guy and his mysterious and slightly-less-creepy-because-he's-dreamy sidekick.

There's a lot I didn't like about this book. The main character annoyed me. I could not get into her romance. There's a lot of "will there be a love triangle" set up, too. The whole book felt kind of eye-rolly.

But, there's something about it that I did like. I was totally engaged. I wanted to find out more about the curse. I actually liked the sisterhood magical bonding. It also felt a lot shorter than 360 pages.

Bottom line: I enjoyed reading it, but I wouldn't read it again. This is a standalone.

Deadly Cool by Gemma Halliday
Pages: 303

Publisher: Harper Teen
Released: October 11, 2011
Received: Owned
Rating: DNF
Goodreads

I think I would have liked this book more if I had read it when I got it, which was probably about four years ago. I've changed as a reader and Deadly Cool isn't really my thing anymore. It's nice, but I have too many books on my TBR to spend time on a nice book that isn't grabbing me.

So, what is it? It's a high school book with a spunky main character who likes to lay down funny lines. She's likable, slightly insecure, and has been wronged by her cheating boyfriend...who she is determined to help prove innocent of suspected murder. The mystery seems cute and there is a blossoming new romance and a friend sidekick, all good things.

Bottom line: Good for fans of Clarity and The Liar Society. 

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DNF Explanation: The Vatican Princess by C. W. Gortner

Pages: 400
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Released: February 9, 2016
Received: ARC via NetGalley
Rating: DNF at page 259 (64%)
Goodreads

I keep starting and erasing this review. I'm struggling because on one hand, I really, really wanted to love this book. I've been a big C. W. Gortner fan and I'd been looking forward to his take on Lucrezia for years. On the other hand, I did DNF it.

I think it all boils down to C. W. Gortner's portrayal of Lucrezia. She's too innocent, young, and dumb. Her attempts at scheming are childish and uninteresting. I wanted her to be calculating. I wanted her to be stronger. I wanted her to be someone I could root for, but instead I ended up feeling mild dislike.

And, now that I think about it, the other characters suffered similarly. For such a passionate, polarizing family, these characters came across as thin caricatures, not capable of evoking strong feelings in me or leaving any kind of lasting impression. Borgia himself was a weak, easily fooled old man. Ceasare was a stereotypical, boring Byronic hero, with none of the allure or intrigue I was hoping to get. Juan was just one-note evil.

Lucrezia kept hovering on the outside of the Borgia family schemes, but I never got to dive into them and it was hard to imagine the characters I was shown would be capable of any kind of interesting plotting. This made for a boring, frustrating read.

I kept waiting for something interesting to happen or for Lucrezia to take some control of her story, but that never happened. I get that she was a political pawn for her family and didn't have a whole lot of control, but she didn't even have any agency in her thoughts. Events just happened to her and she stumbled blindly through her life with this stupefying wide-eyed innocence, which makes little sense considering her family.

Maybe this is because Lucrezia is younger during the parts I read and she will grow to be a stronger person? I keep trying to make excuses because I so want to like this book, but I feel like I'm grasping for excuses.

Lucrezia also stumbled into a large number of graphically sexual situations. I guess that's fine in a Borgia book, but it felt like this book couldn't decide what it wanted to be: a revisionist redemption novel for pure innocent Lucrezia, a salacious sexfest, or a serious historical novel. I don't think it really succeeded in any of those areas and the combination didn't really work. The graphic parts also seemed almost boring and repetitive because they were used to show how evil the villainous characters were, and it was all very cackling and one-dimensional.

This may be a case of high hopes dashed. I fell in love with C. W. Gortner's The Queen's Vow and The Last Queen, about Isabella and Juana, two tempestuous queens with drama-filled lives. Neither woman is easy to like, but C. W. Gortner really showed the nuances of their characters. There was so much depth and historical detail packed into those books.

But this one just seemed to lack both the depth of characterization and the depth of historical substance that those other two books had. I didn't feel transported to that historical time period. Really, it could have been any "olden" time or place. I didn't feel like I learned anything, and I am far from a Borgia scholar. The few details included felt very surface-level and minimally researched. I didn't feel compelled to race to Google and start digging deeper into the history of these people and their time. I didn't feel much of anything and the whole thing had a very "phoned-in" vibe to it.

Bottom line

I guess this one is a miss for me, but I'm not giving up on Gortner just yet. I have a copy of his Catherine de Medici book, and I still have high hopes for it. But for this one, I'm very disappointed.

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Book Reviews: Middle Grade Round Up

The Door by the Staircase by Katherine Marsh
Received: ARC from publisher
Rating: DNF

Chalk this up to a case of good book, wrong reader. The story seems great and definitely my kind of book, but the characters just weren't doing it for me. Mary was too "typical spunky orphan" but without anything to make her stand out from the crowd for me and we never clicked.

Goodreads reviewers have spoiled the plot pretty well (thanks!), so any tension or mystery that might have otherwise been there wasn't there for me. I felt bored and couldn't get into the story, mostly because of those spoilers. So, if you're at all interested in The Door by the Staircase, don't read Goodreads reviews!

It's hard to describe, but the book has a similar vibe as The Wolf Princess, which was another book that didn't work for me but should have. I kept wanting to enjoy myself, and kept trying to convince myself that I was enjoying myself, but, really, I wasn't having a good time. I couldn't even say why, exactly, except that the book just wasn't a good fit for me.

Still, it might be a good fit for middle grade readers and fans of Serafina and the Black Cloak. 

A Question of Magic by E. D. Baker
Received: Library
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

E.D. Baker and I have a hit and miss relationship. I love her Wide-Aware Princess, but couldn't get into the Frog Princess series. A Question of Magic falls somewhere between the two for me, settle on a solid "like."

I don't think the characters and plot would sustain me through a series, but as a standalone book, which this is, everything kept me happily entertained. I liked how the author interpreted the Baba Yaga story (especially the "you only get one question" thing—LOVE that! Makes me wonder what I would ask...), and you can't ever go wrong with a talking cat. The main character was nice but forgettable (see, I can't even remember her name now), but that didn't take anything away from my enjoyment.   

Definitely not a bad way to spend an afternoon if you're a fan of fairy tale retellings. Recommended.  


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DNF Explanation: Farewell, My Queen by Chantal Thomas

Farewell, My Queen by Chantal Thomas
Library
DNF on page 95 of 233

This book wasn't awful, but it just wasn't good enough to spend more time with it (even with the short page count).

The weak link is the premise. Told from the perspective of Marie Antoinette's assistant reader Agathe-Sidonie, already it's pretty clear that this is going to be a very peripheral perspective. Marie Antoinette was no reader, that's for sure.

Points off already for me because I prefer reading from the perspective of the actual historical figures, not their lackeys (even when done well. See The Winter Palace). But I knew what I was going into.

What I was hoping this perspective could at least give was a good historical recounting of the confusion and fear during those harrowing days and nights after the Storming of the Bastille.

Chantal Thomas does do this. Her account is good, but it is only just good and this falls flat when I've already read great. Reading these scenes just made me want to put down Farewell, My Queen and re-read Juliet Grey's series instead.

Part of this was because I think Juliet Grey did a better job (and of course it's right in the thick of things), but also because Juliet Grey made me care deeply for Marie Antoinette, whereas Chantal Thomas did not make me care at all about Agathe-Sidonie. She's a very insubstantial character who seems to exist in the narrative solely to admire Marie Antoinette (which, granted, she does a very nice job with this, even if it does come off as a bit of a Mrs. Danvers).

The problem with the peripheral character perspective is that Agathe-Sidonie doesn't know all of the interesting things that were happening. She notices the king and queen are upset about something, but she doesn't know why. She hears rumors, but she doesn't know the truth. She sees Marie Antoinette walk past her, but she doesn't know where she's going or where she's been.

While I do see the value in this type of story, it ultimately falls flat because there wasn't much depth to Agathe-Sidonie. If I'm going to experience this story from the outside looking in, then I at least want to feel something for the character I'm following. Instead, Chantal Thomas doesn't seem to care much about Agathe-Sidonie as a person going through this harrowing time. She is only there to wonder and think about how Marie Antoinette must be feeling, and for that, I'd rather just read from Marie Antoinette's perspective.

Plus, I want to KNOW, not float through apathetic guesswork. I think this approach may have been interesting to a point but ultimately boring and frustrating account if I hadn't already known all the things Agathe-Sidonie can only wonder about from the sidelines.

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DNF Explanation: Nameless by Lili St. Crow

Received: Library
Read to page 178 of 328
Goodreads

Some books make me feel uncomfortable, and usually I can't put my finger on exactly why, but the feeling is a strong NO THANK YOU. Nameless falls into that category, and without a solid main character to help me through, I DNF-ed.

The world is intriguing with its mobster-like vampire families and unique take on paranormal beings. This is probably why I read as far as I did and I was tempted to read more just so I could figure out exactly what was up with this world.

Because, yeah, it's unique, but it's also seriously vague. Like, dreamworld vague where some pieces are super clear and others are foggy and when you put them together you have something that kinda makes sense but also totally doesn't.

And then there's the characters, which is where that icky vibe comes in for me. Main character Cami is supposed to be a teenager but she reads more like a shy, traumatized little kid. Fine, if not exactly sleepover party material, but that also makes for some weird dynamics with her family and friends.

Her somewhat incestuous relationship with her adoptive brother also skirts my comfort line. Combine the childish mentality, trauma, and clingy relationship she has with her adoptive brother with her lusty incestuous feelings and that starts to enter a realm of which I'm not sure what to make.

By the time I DNF-ed at about the halfway mark the plot had only very, very slowly started to form around Cami as The Chosen One and her brother as the chosen consort and I just could not get on board with Cami—broken five year old minded Cami—as someone capable of ordering a pizza without having an internal meltdown let alone taking on the mantle of some great and powerful leader.

To be fair, I probably would have stuck with this one to the end if I had liked Cami. The world has potential and even though the romance had a degree of eyebrow raising, Lili St. Crow still managed to get some swoon in there. Alas, Cami and I just weren't meshing and by the time I decided to DNF I realized I was hoping some villain would knock her off.

This is book one in a series, and while I'm guessing there's an overarching plot, each book follows a different main character and probably wraps up her individual story by the end of each book. Cami's friends definitely seemed like better characters, so the sequels might be worth checking out. But, of course, I DNF-ed this one, so fair warning I'm just guessing on how it wraps up.


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DNF Explanation: The Sisters of Versailles by Sally Christie

Received: ARC from publisher, via NetGalley
Read to page 69 of 449
Goodreads

Here's the thing about mistress books: I'm not really a fan. Mistresses aren't usually very exciting since their main claim to fame generally begins and ends at sleeping with a king. And since that's their thing, the books about them are often pretty romance heavy and not much else.

Plus, yeah, I get that the times were different and all and these marriages weren't all romance and love, but it's hard for me to get behind a home-wreaker. Maybe I've read too many books from the poor queens' perspectives.

So I broke my unofficial No Mistresses rule by requesting this book. Times four, because The Sisters of Versailles is about FOUR mistresses, all sisters (yeah, this family apparently had a lock on the mistress market, at least for a time). But I really wanted to read about this time period and I convinced myself that the cover looked sufficiently historical so I'd probably get a good amount of historical details, right?

I should have known better.

So, yes, I DNF-ed this book in part because it was exactly what I should have known it would be: it's a mistress book. Romance and fluff and not much else. I was sorely disappointed at the lack of historical detail, which I was hoping would at least come through.

But that's not even the main reason I chose to DNF. No, I probably would have stuck it out to the end if it weren't for the fact that I ended up loathing each of the sisters.

One is like an evil step sister from Cinderella, one is bland and silly and easily led to make poor choices, one is barely there, and one is straight up psychopathic (and not in a good way, even if the fire cabinet was kind of nice payback to the evil sister. But, the girl tortures animals!)

This is why I chose to stop reading. Even with the short chapters (max 10 pages), and even with the rotating point of view (done decently enough), and even with the good writing (I really did like this Sally Christie's style), and even with the time period (I'm really interested in reading the just-pre-Marie Antoinette years), I just could not bear the thought of spending any more time with these awful women.

Maybe when Sally Christie finishes with this series she'll write about historical figures I like. I hope so, because I would still give her a shot.

Looking for another book like this?

The one on the left I also disliked and the one on the right I loved

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DNF Explanation: Housewitch by Katie Schickel

ARC from publisher
DNF on page 191 of 352
Goodreads

With its Witches of Eastwick (the tv show) meets Practical Magic (the movie) vibe, Housewitch was a book I could have easily liked. And I almost did like it. Or, I did like it, mostly. Kind of.

See? I'm feeling ambivalent here.

Look, in theory, I really liked Housewitch. All of the ingredients are there and the writing is easy and comforting. It's like lounging inside wearing sweats even though it's sunny outside. Fun, soothing, nice.

Boring.

I read a little over half the book and Allison had only just started to embrace her magic. And when she finally did? Sure, it was fun. But it was fun like lounging around watching infomercials in your sweats is fun. I mean, these witches hold the magical equivalent to Tupperware parties. That's nice, and I kinda actually want my own magical Tupperware party, but it isn't exciting.

I think part of my wishy washy feelings come from Allison herself. She's so meh. I think she's supposed to be easy to relate to and represent "normal" but she just came across as dull. Like the before photos on a shampoo commercial. Hanging out with her was exhausting in the same way lounging around all day in sweats watching infomercials totally destroys all motivation to do....anything.

Dragging things down even more was Allison's kooky aunt and her coven of eccentric magic folk. I think her aunt was supposed to come across as endearing, but to me she came off more like a dirty bag lady who lives in the park talking to squirrels and yelling at you to stay away from her benches. I didn't like being around her and couldn't wait for her scenes to end. Extra points off because she and her fellow witches weren't very nice to Allison.

My favorite parts were when Allison finally embraced her magic and joined the local It Group of witches. I liked hanging out with Allison and co as they made magic beauty masks, soaked in magic spas, and concocted magical "do whatever I want" potions. This was fun. This is why I read magic books.

So I really, really didn't like that sinking feeling in my stomach that these ladies were up to no good. (I could be wrong! Remember, I didn't read to the end to find out!) I didn't want the lesson that using magic for beauty lotions is bad or that you shouldn't cast spells to make you rich. I may sound like a petulant kid or a shallow woman, but, hey, I'm ok with that. I would totally use magic to make myself pretty and rich.

At this point I DNF-ed because a) I wanted to preserve my happy shallow fantasies without moralistic lessons, b) I just wasn't invested enough to read more, and c) I couldn't stomach another scene with the aunt.

Bottom line

I knew this book wasn't going to be more than a 3 star read and I had a big pile of better books waiting to be read. If I were stuck on a plane or on vacation then I would have happily read to the end and enjoyed Housewitch as a decent but forgettable 3 star read. It's a good beach read and if you click with Allison and her aunt, then you'll probably like it even more.

This is an adult book, btw. Allison is a married mother of three and there's enough of that to likely turn off YA only readers.

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Looking for another book like this? You might like: 

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DNF Explanation: Stormbird by Conn Iggulden

Stormbird (Wars of the Roses #1) by Conn Iggulden

Library (thank goodness!)
Rating: DNF on page 100 of 385

Review prologue

My husband and I both read a lot, but we rarely read the same books and I've wanted to do a read-along together for a while now.

He read and loved Conn Iggulden's series on Genghis Khan, so I was super excited to see the same author was going to write about a topic I actually want to read about—The Wars of the Roses (sorry Genghis!).

And by super excited, I mean I obsessively stalked multiple library systems for a year trying to get my hands on a copy.

That great day finally arrived and my husband and I sat down together, each with a copy of the book, and began reading. It was adorable.

Then, about an hour into reading, we turned to each other and simultaneously did the hesitant, "Soooo how are you liking it?"

And then we both caved and admitted that we were not liking this one bit.

I'll give this disclaimer: I'm not sure why this book irritated me as much as it did. Sure it had flaws I can point out, but so do other books that admittedly don't bother me like this one does.

The actual review

Surprisingly, Stormbird was not written very well. The sentence structure was pretty simplistic, which made for a very easy read (plus!) but definitely not of the caliber I was expecting. You know how sometimes adult authors try to write for young adult audiences and "dumb down" their writing as a result? That's what this felt like. It didn't feel very historical, either.

It was also so excruciatingly SLOW. I read up to page 100, which is over a quarter of the way through the book, and Henry VI and Margaret hadn't even been married yet! This should have been covered in a chapter or two. (For those less historically inclined, imagine if it had taken over 100 pages to get to the "You're a wizard, Harry!" part. Not good.)

Iggulden fills the pages with so much pointless stuff, and I don't mean historical details. I seriously would have loved accurate historical details. Alas, accuracy doesn't seem to be a priority for Mr. Iggulden. The stuff there is more just random scenes that made me wonder what was the point of reading them. Even worse, most of them follow fictional characters.

When he does write about real people, they're painfully one-note. Richard of York and his wife Cecily are EVIL *insert cackling laugh* I was half expecting Cecily to whip out a dalmatian puppy skin coat to wear to the banquet.

But back to those fictional characters. Conn Iggulden made his favorite fictional character Derry Brewer a total Mary Sue who is SURPRISE! actually THE person responsible for all those Very Important historical events. I really hate historical inaccuracies, but I truly loathe fictional thunder stealing.

Not only does the character get credit for negotiating something Very Big, but in real life this event played a large part in the death of the actual person who is responsible for the negotiation, so attributing it to the fictional Derry Brewer didn't sit right with me.

Not to mention his cringe-worthy interactions with York (a spy of no station is calling the Duke of York Richard and treating him like an unruly cub? And Richard of York is cowering? Seriously??)

Iggulden also makes such a huge deal about his fictional character coming up with this ingenious, never before seen, blow your minds with his awesomeness idea that led to much swirling anticipation and tension that we wrung our hands over for an entire chapter wondering if he'll be able to pull off this novel idea for a...

wait for it...

A proxy wedding!

Seriously?! Proxy weddings were an established thing at the time. Fictional Mr. Brewer gets NO POINTS for that.

I'm also not buying that Derry Brewer could dupe everyone into believing the king of England had traveled to France for a marriage (because, sure, kings were in the habit of doing that sort of thing *eyeroll*) and then pulled a "Psych! Going home now!" move at the last minute (effectively leaving poor Margaret waiting at the alter, because that wouldn't offend anyone) with the paltry excuse of he wasn't feeling well...when in fact he had never actually left England! I'm supposed to believe this is actually a plan? A legit plan? That everyone buys and no one questions the total, obvious lack of a king, entourage, and months of planning?

And that's when I DNF-ed.

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Looking for Wars of the Roses books? You might like:

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DNF Explanation & Giveaway: Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman

Goodreads
#2 in the Seraphina
ARC from publisher
Read 139 of 608 pages

I wasn't a huge fan of Seraphina, but I liked it enough to want to read the sequel.

Unfortunately, I didn't like the sequel enough to finish it.

I am very much in the minority on this series and I really, really wish I could love it as much as everyone else seems to love it. I think my issues with it are more on the personal side of things and those are usually hard to articulate. But I will try.

Five reasons Shadow Scale is not for me
(kinda spoilery for Seraphina)

1. Seraphina is not slumber party material for me

She seems so dreary and almost contradictory. I think that's in part because she is actually a pretty decent character, but she does not see those good qualities in herself. So her actions show one thing and her self-evaluation says another. 

I can see how that could work as a writing approach, but for me, that way of presenting her characterization isn't pleasurable to read. It makes Seraphina come across as a drag and I can't enjoy her more positive qualities. 

She also spent a good part of Shadow Scale making some stupid decisions and assumptions regarding the other half-dragons. This is her "lesson" in the book, so at least the point is that her decisions aren't correct. That makes it better, but still not fun to read.

2. The writing doesn't work for me

It feels so plodding. Like I'm swimming through honey. Making this Seraphina's "voice" makes her seem like such a bore. For me, I really think I would have enjoyed this more as third person. Though, I imagine that would be hard to do given all the action that takes place inside Seraphina's head.

3. Her garden

It is explained much more in this book, but I just...don't care. I don't care about Jaounella and Seraphina's presentation of her rubs me the wrong way. She's very knee jerk about it all, and that's frustrating to me. It makes Seraphina seem reactionary, unreasonable, and hyper-sensitive. And cowardly.

Since I don't know what happened in the past, all I can do is base my impressions off of the little information Seraphina gives me now, and that isn't enough for me to sympathize with her in this situation.

It just frustrates me and makes me want to tell her to suck it up and face her fears. After all, all I have as evidence is Seraphina successfully beating and containing Jaounella. So how bad can she be? (possibly very bad, but that isn't being communicated well).

4. Characterization

It seems to have suffered a lot in the sequel. In the first book, the side characters were so vivid and full of life. Here, they seem like sketches of themselves. Like we're relying solely on the development of the first book to carry over their characterizations in the sequel. 

As a result, characters I loved in the first book I just don't care about at all in the sequel. I'm so disappointed by this because I adored the character interactions in the first book.

5. I'm not into where this is heading

I read vague spoilers about what happens in the rest of the book and it doesn't really appeal to me. I don't feel invested in the story and what (I now know) will happen. I also don't like the resolution to the romance. 

Bottom line

There are certain authors I instantly click with and it's like they're writing specifically for me. Rachel Hartman is the opposite. There's just something that doesn't click with me.

Info for the giveaway:

• What you can win: A finished copy of Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman
• As always, you do NOT have to be a follower
• This giveaway is US/CA only
• You must be 13 years of age or older
• One entry per person
• I will contact the winner through email and the winner will have 24 hours to reply before a new winner is chosen 
• This giveaway closes on April 30th 

Click here to enter the giveaway!

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Tiny Reviews: Maid of Secrets and A Darkness Strange & Lovely

Maid of Secrets by Jennifer McGowan
#1 in the Maids of Honor series

This is the book I wanted the Palace of Spies series to be. Both series follow a maid of honor/ladies in waiting type of group and involves courtly mysteries and an interesting historical backdrop (with minor appearances by real people). However, of the two, I much prefer the Maids of Honor series.

While the series isn't amazing, it does have likable characters (and nice camaraderie between them) and a mystery that did keep me engaged. It's fun. The stakes felt higher, and I was definitely considering nail-biting during the torture scene. Best endorsement? It grabbed me quickly and got me out of a reading slump.

This is the first in a series, but it ended well enough as a standalone. I didn't feel the need to immediately read the sequel (I read Maid of Secrets in May 2014), but I do intend to read Maid of Deception soon (I actually took it out of the library the day before I was approved for Dangerous Deceptions, the sequel to Palace of Spies, but they were just too similar to read so close together).

Recommended, especially to readers who like light historical mysteries.

Library
4 out of 5 stars

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A Darkness Strange and Lovely by Susan Dennard
#2 in the Something Strange and Deadly series

I put off reading this book for a while, because while I liked Something Strange and Deadly well enough, I didn't love it. It was fluffy and fun enough and it moved pretty quickly (which is always a plus), but it lacked pretty hard on the character front.

Those characters only got worse in the sequel, which is why I ultimately DNF-ed. The story of A Darkness Strange and Lovely was good-ish, if kind of slow (halfway through the book and NOTHING  has happened). Still, I was having a pleasant enough time.

But then Eleanor meets this guy Oliver who seems to be a pretty nice guy (if suffering from the same "gosh you're young" personality as Eleanor's love interest). And she proceeds to treat him like absolute, total crap. What gives, Eleanor??

Then she met up with her Spirit Hunter friends (I can't help but inwardly groan every time that cutesy-quirky stereotypical band of do-nothing, lame slayer wannabes come on the page. Harsh, I know, I'm sorry!) and she decides to LIE TO HER FRIENDS. For no good reason (except dragging out contrived drama).

Aaaand, DNF.

Library
DNF on page 150 of 295 (e-book pages. The print book has 400ish pages)

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