Saturday, April 21, 2012

Cover Review: First Impressions (3)

Moving is totally stressful. So instead of facing more boxes, calling more utilities companies, or even considering my review pile, I'm going to procrastinate by playing guessing games! Want to join me?

Soulbound: Legacy of Tril by Heather Brewer

First Impressions:

This doesn't look like a book that takes itself too seriously. It's all about looking totally cool while actually being filled with lots of campiness and gigantic stretches of the imagination. I'm fully expecting action-filled fun times.

Just look at the way she's holding that sword! No real swordswoman would even think of holding a sword like that (is she trying to awkwardly slice open her shoulder?). But in her defense, her masochistic pose might be a result of the fact that she can't see anything due to the "I'm so skilled that I don't need to see!" blindfold.

But doesn't she look badass? The random black ribbon on her arm is worth at least 10 cool points alone! Plus, there's magical glowy light coming out of the series title! You can never go wrong with magical glowy light.

Basically, what I'm getting from this cover is that Joss Whedon decided he was tired of his TV shows getting canceled so he is bringing his tiny female killing machines to the world of books. Yay!

Reality (from Goodreads):

"What's worse than being blackmailed to attend a hidden school where you're treated like a second-class citizen? How about nearly getting eaten by a monster when you arrive? Or learning that your soulmate was killed in a centuries-old secret war? And then there's the evil king who's determined to rule the world unless you can stop him...

Meet Kaya, a young woman with the power to heal and the determination to fight. But struggle as she will, she remains tied to three very different men: a hero who has forsaken glory, a tyrannical ruler who wants to use Kaya, and a warrior who's stolen her heart. Kaya learns the hard way that some ties can't be broken...and blood is the strongest bond of all."

Do they match?

Yep, pretty much Buffy. Could I have finally found something to fill the gaping Scooby-Gang void in my heart (other than my annual seasons 1-7 marathon)? *fingers crossed*

Blessed by Tonya Hurley

First Impressions:

Did Amanda Seyfried die and then come back as a demon-possessed zombie with a penchant for prayer? 'Cause that's what it looks like. I wouldn't be at all surprised by scenes of animal sacrifices and soul-pledging to Satan.

I'm expecting a black comedy that will make me feel kind of skin-crawley and ick-ed out. And maybe a little bored, too (doesn't she look bored? She's making me feel bored.)

I know I shouldn't let a bad cover stop me from reading a book, but I don't think I want to touch that book (she looks like she might give me pink eye) and I'm positive I don't want anyone seeing me reading a book with that cover.

I'm also pretty sure 1995 called and wants its style-challenged cover back. All she needs is a black choker and the look would be complete.

(And, ok, yes, 1995 wants its insult back, too. But in my defense, at least I'm actually from the '90s. What's this cover's excuse, hmm?)

Reality (from Goodreads):

A "re-imagined redemption remix", following three teenage girls in Brooklyn and drawing on the martyrdom legends of St Lucy, St Cecelia and St Agnes.

Do they match?

So no zombies but a strong likelihood of dead girls. I'm not really sure how a "re-imagined redemption remix" with saints will work, but if that cover is any indication, it will be weird and maybe not for me. Also, she looks more anti-christ than saintly.

What do you think? Do these covers make you want to read the book? What would you think these books were about if all you saw was the cover? 

Can anyone come up with funny blurbs or taglines for the books based on their covers alone?

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  1. Hey! First time reader and altogether blog noob here. Just had to comment on the constipated looking Amanda Seyfried cover, hope she's blessed with a BM soon.

    I think most people are very visual so it's hard to overlook a crappy cover; that said, most of my hardbacks are missing their dust jackets. :)

  2. I'm really wondering why that first girl has chain mail (?) on her head. It doesn't even really look securely fastened. Got to say-neither of these covers is enticing to me! I'm more of a pretty dress cover girl.

  3. Ok, so I read this, and laughed SO HARD at your thoughts on "Blessed" that I had to drag my whole family into it, and we were all sitting around the computer reading your post and laughing out loud, like belly laughing. So thanks for making our morning awesome. ;)

    And seriously, I agree with everything you said. Anti-christ for sure. hahahaha ;)

  4. I'm currently moving too so guessing games are always welcome XD I totally agree with your opinions of both of these. Soulbound looks kick-butt, but she doesn't look like she knows what she's doing :P Seriously, chain-mail veil? really, REALLY? I don't know about her, but if my enemy has a sword too, I think I'd like to see where he plans on stickin it instead being "I look all kick-butt and that's all that matters, even if I have a sword through my gut". But still, I'll give her credit for looking the part!

    And I totally agree with the Seyfried thing! Before I even read your opinion, I did a double take because i honestly thought it was her! But seriously, is this chick sick or something? What's up with her eyes?! and the synopsis doesn't sound to intriguing so I think I'll stay away from this one :P

    Good luck with your move!

    All the best ♥
    Mackenzie @ Oh, For the Love of Books!

  5. The first ones makes me think serious, Asian chica, bad a$$.
    But the second one I'm SO with you.
    I too thought of Amanda Seyfried and you cracked me up with, "Did Amanda Seyfried die and then come back as a demon-possessed zombie with a penchant for prayer?"

  6. The first one? Campy is the perfect description - even if it sounded like a book I would love? That cover would make me hesitant to read it...

    And Blessed? I laughed out loud! (Something the old lady next to me at the coffee shop didn't really appreciate!) But wow. You are spot on with your comment.s

    -Jac @ For Love and Books

  7. What the H? Both of these covers are kind of weird. What's with the chain mail covering her eyes? Not only can she not see to protect herself from incoming sword swings, she doesn't have armor protecting the rest of her body from the sword swings she was unable to block. Where is the logic?
    As for the cover of the Blessed? It's just creepy. If I were to accidentally look down on this cover in the middle of the night, I'm pretty sure it would give me nightmares.
    The downside to all of this (I mean, besides the weird covers) is I don't think I'd even be convinced by the summary to check these books out :( They just don't seem like my kind of read. Well, the Legacy of Tril almost had me until it mentioned the gal was tied to three men. Ugh.

    - Jackie

  8. Souldbound sounds really cool but Blessed just looks freeekey - and it actually reminds me me more of Dakota Fanning than Amanda S. -I dunno, I wouldn't read a book with that cover.

  9. 1995 wants it's joke back!! That's funny!! I'd think you'd be too stressed to be funny right now. No, you nailed both. I wouldn't read either based on the covers, who was making these covers? And Tonya Hurley wrote the fairly if not very successful Ghost Girl series. She should get a better cover than that! I do think the 10 cool points for the randomly wrapped black ribbon is good on the samurai girl, but I'm thinking she's slicing her palms open??? No? I don't think she knows how to use that thing. It's why I hate Katanas, it always seems like the girls holding them are slicing their hands or don't know how to use them. (except Buffy)

    Are you going to read them?? I'll be interested to see what you think. They definitely don't have a cover to live up to.


  10. haha, yes definitely more fun than packing! I would also say that it's likely Soulbound will be lighter based on the author (whom I understand prefers a light, funny writing style). I hope it will be like Buffy (which I'm rewatching now btw - so fun!)! I have no interest in the second one though, I have to say.

  11. I'm not sure I like the first cover. The book sounds cool and she does appear to be a bad a$$ like Ali in The Immortal Rules. There's a lot of books coming out with chicks and swords! lol What's up with that? The second one does look like Seyfried or Dakota Fanning. Not sure if I'd read though. But I'm interested in Soulbound.


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