Cover Review: First Impressions (3)

Moving is totally stressful. So instead of facing more boxes, calling more utilities companies, or even considering my review pile, I'm going to procrastinate by playing guessing games! Want to join me?

Soulbound: Legacy of Tril by Heather Brewer

First Impressions:

This doesn't look like a book that takes itself too seriously. It's all about looking totally cool while actually being filled with lots of campiness and gigantic stretches of the imagination. I'm fully expecting action-filled fun times.

Just look at the way she's holding that sword! No real swordswoman would even think of holding a sword like that (is she trying to awkwardly slice open her shoulder?). But in her defense, her masochistic pose might be a result of the fact that she can't see anything due to the "I'm so skilled that I don't need to see!" blindfold.

But doesn't she look badass? The random black ribbon on her arm is worth at least 10 cool points alone! Plus, there's magical glowy light coming out of the series title! You can never go wrong with magical glowy light.

Basically, what I'm getting from this cover is that Joss Whedon decided he was tired of his TV shows getting canceled so he is bringing his tiny female killing machines to the world of books. Yay!

Reality (from Goodreads):

"What's worse than being blackmailed to attend a hidden school where you're treated like a second-class citizen? How about nearly getting eaten by a monster when you arrive? Or learning that your soulmate was killed in a centuries-old secret war? And then there's the evil king who's determined to rule the world unless you can stop him...

Meet Kaya, a young woman with the power to heal and the determination to fight. But struggle as she will, she remains tied to three very different men: a hero who has forsaken glory, a tyrannical ruler who wants to use Kaya, and a warrior who's stolen her heart. Kaya learns the hard way that some ties can't be broken...and blood is the strongest bond of all."

Do they match?

Yep, pretty much Buffy. Could I have finally found something to fill the gaping Scooby-Gang void in my heart (other than my annual seasons 1-7 marathon)? *fingers crossed*

Blessed by Tonya Hurley

First Impressions:

Did Amanda Seyfried die and then come back as a demon-possessed zombie with a penchant for prayer? 'Cause that's what it looks like. I wouldn't be at all surprised by scenes of animal sacrifices and soul-pledging to Satan.

I'm expecting a black comedy that will make me feel kind of skin-crawley and ick-ed out. And maybe a little bored, too (doesn't she look bored? She's making me feel bored.)

I know I shouldn't let a bad cover stop me from reading a book, but I don't think I want to touch that book (she looks like she might give me pink eye) and I'm positive I don't want anyone seeing me reading a book with that cover.

I'm also pretty sure 1995 called and wants its style-challenged cover back. All she needs is a black choker and the look would be complete.

(And, ok, yes, 1995 wants its insult back, too. But in my defense, at least I'm actually from the '90s. What's this cover's excuse, hmm?)

Reality (from Goodreads):

A "re-imagined redemption remix", following three teenage girls in Brooklyn and drawing on the martyrdom legends of St Lucy, St Cecelia and St Agnes.

Do they match?

So no zombies but a strong likelihood of dead girls. I'm not really sure how a "re-imagined redemption remix" with saints will work, but if that cover is any indication, it will be weird and maybe not for me. Also, she looks more anti-christ than saintly.

What do you think? Do these covers make you want to read the book? What would you think these books were about if all you saw was the cover? 

Can anyone come up with funny blurbs or taglines for the books based on their covers alone?

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